Helping Someone You Love With Technology

The "why" matters more than the "what."

"A lot of people use the same password for everything, and I used to too. But if one website gets hacked, every account gets opened. I want to help you pick a safer way to keep track — a password manager, or a notebook you keep at home. Which sounds better to you?"

Be calm, be specific, and never imply they are naive.

"Scams have gotten really convincing lately — some of them fool people like my coworker who works in tech. The rule I try to follow is: if someone calls, texts, or emails me first and asks for money or a gift card or account info, I hang up and call back using the number on the back of my card. Want me to show you how that looks in practice?"

This one is about their autonomy, not your convenience.

"I am not here to take anything over. I just want you to have more help available when you want it. What does help look like to you? Would you want me to be able to see your screen if something goes wrong, or would you rather I only step in when you call?"

The sooner, the better — and it gives them control.

"Both of us are going to have accounts someday that nobody else can get into. Apple and Google and Facebook actually let you pick someone who can reach them if something happens to you. Can we set that up for both of us? I'd feel better knowing we did it together."